Archive for the ‘Insanity Defense’ Category

Woody Allen Quotes

May 5, 2010

Banned In Hollywood’s list of their favorite Allen quotes:
(Quotes are enhanced if read in Woody Allen’s voice)

I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst you can say about him is that he is an underachiever.

Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the loyal opposition.

Organized crime in America takes in over fourty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty, and go back.

Basically, my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? Or what’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

He was so depressed, he tried committing suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Pretty good list, even has a couple quotes from Insanity Defense.

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Allen’s The Insanity Defense and Dylan’s Tarantula

February 19, 2010

Upon reading The Insanity Defense by Woody Allen, I could not help but to wonder if Bob Dylan’s Tarantula had any influence on it at all. Both books employ absurdity to “contextualize the fantastic within quotidian drudgery”. Tarantula’s absurdity at times is so thick that one cannot pierce the logic driving it nor determine a possible association. A quick example of a hefty many, “an old wrinkled prospector will appear & he will NOT say to you ‘don’t be possessive! don’t wish to be remembered!’ he will just be looking for his geiger counter & his name wont be Moses & dont count yourself lucky for not interfering – it is petty . . . do not count yourself lucky”. Whereas Dylan’s material seems like a formless, free-flowing, completely unpredictable torrent of absurdity, Allen’s material seems like a parking structure for textbooks driving clown cars. Allen capitalizes on things you would never think twice about (Laundry lists in The Metterling Lists), and offers extremely different (to the point of hilarious) perspectives (A Look At Organized Crime). In Organized Crime, Allen offers the perspective from a corporate video, the kind of video a company would show to its new employees. Example of Corporate Video (Parody)

In Allen’s Annie Hall, there is a digression to Alvy Singer’s (played by W. Allen) relationship with a journalist who talks much of a recent Bob Dylan concert. He ends up sleeping with the girl. From the text, one can only assume Allen holds Dylan in respect.